Part 4: The Unspoken Conversation

Sharon Ross
Dec 20, 2025
3 min read

12. Eye Contact, Shape, and Intention

Non-Verbal Communication Between Dancer and Musician

Long before a dancer executes a movement, they are already communicating.

Musicians read the room the way dancers read posture. Where your gaze goes. How your body is organized. Whether your movement feels directed or diffuse. None of this requires performance—it requires presence.

Eye contact, when used intentionally, is one of the clearest forms of communication between dancer and musician. It is not a demand. It is a check-in. A way of saying, I’m here. I’m listening.

You don’t need to hold eye contact for long. A brief acknowledgment—especially during a transition or phrase ending—often does more than constant staring. Too much eye contact can feel intrusive. Too little can feel like disengagement. Think of it as punctuation, not narration.

Shape carries information as well. Open shapes read as invitation. Contained shapes read as listening. Directional shapes suggest momentum or change. Musicians feel these choices even when they’re focused on their instruments.

Intention is the thread that ties this together. When movement is driven by clear intention, it registers—even if the movement itself is small. When intention is scattered, even large movement can feel invisible.

Dancers don’t need to show musicians what they want. They need to mean something and allow that meaning to be visible.

13. Leading Without Controlling

How Dancers Can Influence the Music Gracefully

There is a quiet moment when dancers realize something surprising: the music is responding to them.

This realization can feel exhilarating—or dangerous. Many dancers, upon sensing influence, try to grab it. They move bigger. Faster. More insistently. This is where collaboration can tip into control.

Leading is not the same as directing.

When dancers lead gracefully, they offer clarity, not commands. They commit to choices and allow the musicians to decide how to meet them.

Here’s what graceful influence looks like:

Repeating a movement phrase and letting the band elaborate.
Holding still and allowing the music to fill the space.
Shifting energy without forcing tempo.

Musicians appreciate dancers who lead through consistency. If your intention is clear and sustained, they have room to respond creatively. If your intention changes every two seconds, they have nothing to hold.

Influence works best when it is subtle enough to feel optional. The moment it becomes forceful, musicians stop collaborating and start accommodating—and those are very different experiences.

When dancers trust that the music is already listening, they stop pushing. And paradoxically, their influence becomes stronger.

14. Trust on Both Sides of the Stage

Why Confidence Is Felt Before It Is Seen

Confidence is often misunderstood as boldness. Big movement. Strong accents. Assertive presence.

But musicians experience confidence differently.

They feel it as reliability.

A confident dancer stays connected when the music shifts. They don’t disappear when surprised. They don’t apologize with their body. They remain present, even when unsure.

Trust builds when dancers show that they will stay in the conversation no matter what happens. That they won’t panic. That they won’t withdraw. That they don’t need reassurance to keep listening.

This is why confidence is felt before it is seen. Musicians sense it long before the audience does. They feel it in timing. In breath. In how a dancer handles silence.

Trust is reciprocal. When dancers trust the music, musicians play more openly. When musicians trust the dancer, they take more risks. The performance becomes alive—not because everything is perfect, but because everyone is committed.

This kind of trust cannot be faked. It is built through presence, humility, and attention.

And once it’s established, it carries the entire room.